Depression and Loss

Loss can be a trigger for depression, even in people who have never experienced it before.  Of course, that’s kind of like saying snow is white!  But before you say: “Duhh…” and move on to the next WP blog that interests you, stop and think for a moment….

Everyone knows that loss can trigger depression, but why is no one prepared for the depression when they lose someone?  Do we think we will somehow magically waltz through life, totally unaffected by the natural circumstances that befall everyone else?  Do we think it will never happen to us?  Or, more likely, is there a difference between what we ‘know’ in a theoretical sense vs. what we know by experience?

My position is: the latter is true.  We don’t really ‘know’ depression, until we’ve been there, done that!

So it stands to reason, we don’t really know what it is like to lose someone close to us until they are gone.  I could be wrong, but I have the feeling that death and divorce/breakups are probably the two top depression triggers.

PERCEPTION

What may surprise you even more is my view that depression that is caused by such events is a direct result of our skewed perceptions.

Let me explain.  If we fail to have a correct perception of life and death, or of relationships, very likely we refuse to consider the possibility that everything ENDS!  Nothing is standing still, even the very sub-atomic particles that make up our bodies are in motion!  and motion brings change.  Little by little, day by day,  everything in this reality is changing!  Even our very bodies are not the same as they were 2 minutes ago.  Our ‘mind’ changes with every passing moment.

Because of this constant change, things arise, continue for a while, and then pass away.

I too, shall pass some day.

If you have been following this blog, you know that I lost my Mother, Grandfather, Wife, Home, and suffered through bankruptcy, divorce, job loss, and my father’s stroke.  All in a 2-year period.

Yes, Loss is rough.  After all that, major depression was a virtual certainty.  Overcoming major depression was not.  Add to that teen depression, and what my therapist diagnosed as Chronic, Recurring, Long-Term, Severe depression, and you have a lot of experience with mood disorders.

I tell you all this not to impress you, or to have you feel sorry for me, but merely to impress upon you the fact that it took all these things to spark the mental evolution that led to me Overcoming Depression!

Today I have a much different view of reality.  Now I look at a friend and/or loved one and value them with a much greater appreciation.  I know that they are a phenomenon that has no equal, either in the past or the future.  And they will be gone some day.  Just like a shooting star that streaks across the night sky, so we come into existence, burn brightly, and then pass beyond the veil.

And this is a good thing!  There are two advantages to this understanding.

• First, when we truly understand this, we accept loss as a natural thing.
• Secondly, we value every moment, and live in the present, not the past or the future.

In conclusion, depression is a failure to understand reality correctly!

That’s MY perception of it anyway!